I think I'm going back to the USA

I talked with my US doctor and he recommended coming in.. we wants to meet with me asap. So, we feel this is the Lord's will... me suffering and distracting Ferd from the work can not keep going on day after day..something's gotta give and we feel this is the time before it gets worse... I feel so torn. So selfish. so unsure. Ferd is the opposite..totally at peace and excited to get me some help. I need to trust my hubby, but Satan is really beating me up over this....